Why Enemies To Lovers Fails

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Two characters can have incredible banter, obvious chemistry, and plenty of reasons to be in the same room. And you can still end up with an enemies to lovers romance that doesn't quite feel believable. Because what makes this trope work isn't just the attraction between your characters. It's whether readers can buy into every step between I can't stand you and I choose you. And so in today's episode, I'm sharing 10 things that can make or break that progression from enemies to lovers, including what writers often get wrong about the initial conflict, why chemistry alone can't earn the romance, and why the tension can't disappear just because the characters stop being enemies. So if you want readers rooting for your characters as they move from enemies to lovers, then this episode is for you. So each week I'll bring you a brand new episode with simple, actionable, and step-by-step strategies that you can implement in your writing right away. So whether you're brand new to writing or more of a seasoned author looking to improve your craft, this podcast is for you. So pick up a pen and let's get started. If you love reading Enemies to Lovers, you probably already know how satisfying this trope can be when it's done well. But writing it well is sometimes a little trickier than it looks. You have to make the enemy's part believable without creating conflict that feels impossible to come back from. You need enough interaction for their opinions of each other to genuinely change. You need chemistry, but chemistry, of course, can't do all the work in the relationship. And then even once they start moving toward each other, you still have to make sure the relationship feels connected to the rest of the story rather than something that's just happening off to the side. So in today's episode, we're going to talk about 10 things to keep in mind as you develop an enemies to lovers relationship that feels believable and earned, whether the romance is the main story or a subplot inside something like a fantasy or a thriller. And so without further ado, let's dive right into tip

Decide What Romance Must Do

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number one. And tip number one is to know the role that your enemies to lovers relationship is playing in the larger story. So are you writing a romance where the relationship itself is the main story? Or are you writing something like fantasy, science fiction, mystery, or a thriller where the enemies to lovers relationship is more of a subplot? And this distinction is important because it tells you how much weight the relationship needs to carry in the story. So in something like a true romance, the major turning points of that story are going to revolve around the developing relationship. So readers are turning the page to figure out whether these two people will overcome what's keeping them apart and ultimately what's going to make them choose each other. So in a true romance, the major turning points revolve around the relationship. Now, of course, other things can and will happen, but those events will help put pressure on that central relationship and move it forward. So the main relationship is at the center, and then subplots are there to put pressure on that central relationship. Now, if the enemies to lovers relationship in your story is more of a subplot, that means your story's biggest plot points will revolve around a different central conflict, so not the romance. In a fantasy novel, for example, those plot points might revolve around defeating an army, surviving a war, or completing a dangerous mission. The romance can, of course, be deeply intertwined with those moments, and ideally it would be, but the romantic relationship isn't what drives the main story forward from beginning to end. Alright, so knowing which one you're writing is going to help you make better decisions about how much page space the relationship gets. It's going to help you know where the major turning points belong and how closely it needs to connect to the rest of your plot. And when you don't have this kind of clarity, it's easy to let a romantic subplot start taking over your main story. Or if you're writing a romance to give so much weight to the external plot that the central relationship starts feeling secondary. Alright, so before you start planning all the banter and all the kissing scenes, I want you to ask yourself, what role does this relationship play in the story you're actually writing? And that is tip number one. Know the role that your enemies to lovers relationship plays in your

Make The “Enemies” Part Real

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story. Alright, now tip number two is to give your characters a believable reason to be in conflict. And this one's really important because if you want readers to believe the lovers part of the equation, then you first need to make them believe the enemies part of the equation. So whatever puts your characters at odds needs to give them a believable reason to oppose, distrust, or resent each other. Now, like most things in fiction, this exists on a spectrum, right? The reason that your characters are enemies could be relatively small, something like a rivalry or having competing goals. Or it could be a lot more serious, like a betrayal, violence, or being on opposite sides of a larger conflict. So enemies to lovers does kind of exist on a spectrum, and it's worthwhile to think about where your character's relationship sits. And what matters most is that the conflict between them feels grounded in something real. So not just that your characters bicker or trade insults or just so happen to dislike each other. We want that conflict grounded in something real. And the more serious the original source of conflict between them is, then the more weight it's going to carry throughout their relationship. Readers are definitely going to remember what happened between these two characters even after the attraction and the flirting enters the picture. And chemistry alone can't erase a deep betrayal, a fundamental disagreement, or years of genuine hostility. So the more serious the original conflict is, just remember, the more weight it's going to carry throughout the relationship. And that also means repair is going to be much more difficult. We'll talk about that in a later tip. But think about it like two sides of a scale, right? If the original conflict is very serious, then you're also going to need quite a bit of repair. If the conflict between them maybe isn't that serious, or maybe it's a little more recent, then maybe you won't need as much repair to turn them from enemies to lovers. But again, more on that soon in a later tip. Now, a question you can ask yourself here as you establish the enemies side of the relationship, you can ask yourself, what gives these two people a believable reason to oppose or distrust each other, even once attraction enters the picture? And that part's really important. So what gives these two people a believable reason to oppose or distrust each other even once attraction enters the picture? And that is tip number two, give them a believable reason to be in conflict. Tip number three is to give the plot a reason to keep them together. And this one is kind of funny to think about because if two people genuinely dislike or oppose each other, they're probably going to avoid each other whenever they can. So your story needs a believable reason that they can't just simply go their separate ways or simply avoid each other. And this is where forced proximity comes in. Now, I don't necessarily mean trapping them together in a cabin during a snowstorm, although by all means that is a fun scenario. What I really mean is you'll want to create circumstances that keep these two characters in each other's orbit. So maybe they have to work together toward the same goal, maybe they're competing for the same thing and they just keep crossing paths, maybe they form a reluctant alliance or one character needs something that only the other one can provide, right? The specific setup doesn't matter as much as the function it serves. And the function is that it gives these characters repeated opportunities to interact. When left to their own devices, they probably wouldn't interact at all. Alright, so when thinking about forced proximity, really we're just giving the relationship somewhere to happen. And what your characters do with that proximity is what will allow the relationship to move forward. Alright, so that is tip number three. Give the plot a reason to keep these two characters together.

Weave Romance Into Plot And Theme

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Now, tip number four is to make the romance part of what drives your story. So we just talked about forced proximity and that gets your characters into the same scenes. But if you want your enemies to lovers' relationship to feel like an important part of the story, then it shouldn't simply unfold alongside everything else that's happening. Ideally, both the plot and the relationship should put pressure on each other. So for example, if you're writing a romance, then the developing relationship is going to sit at the center of your story. That means the external events of the plot should create circumstances that move the relationship forward, pull your characters apart, test what they're building, or force them to make new decisions about each other. And those changing feelings and decisions should in turn affect what the characters do next. Now, if Enemies to Lovers is more of a subplot inside your story, if you're writing something like a fantasy, thriller, mystery, or sci-fi novel, or any other genre, then the same principle applies. The larger conflict should put pressure on the relationship, and the developing relationship should affect how the protagonist handles that conflict. So for example, maybe your protagonist needs to defeat an enemy army, but they're falling in love with someone who belongs to that army. And so being on opposite sides keeps putting pressure on the relationship while their growing attachment creates divided loyalties, changes who they're willing to protect or sacrifice for, or leads them to make a choice that affects the entire mission. Alright, so either way, the point is that the romance and the rest of the plot shouldn't feel like two separate tracks. What happens in the plot should affect the relationship and the changing relationship should affect the plot and what your characters do next. And so a useful test here is to think about moments where the events of the plot change the relationship and moments where the relationship changes the choices that your characters make. If you can point to those moments in your outline or draft, that's great. And if not, you might have an opportunity to weave the two together a little bit more closely. Alright, so that is tip number four. Make the romance part of what drives the story forward. Now, moving on to tip number five. Tip number five is to let the relationship shape the character's arcs. So, like we just talked about, the relationship should affect the plot, but it shouldn't only affect what happens in the plot. Ideally, the romantic relationship should also impact who each character becomes. So think about who your characters are at the start of the story. What does each one of them believe? What are they afraid of? Where do they struggle to trust, connect, surrender control, show vulnerability, or see beyond their own perspective? Think about where they start the story and then ask, what does growing closer to the other character force them to confront? So, in other words, how does this relationship or knowing this person, falling in love with this person, how does that make the other character grow and change? For example, maybe one character starts the story believing that vulnerability is weakness and falling in love requires them to risk being known, which they are just not willing to do. Or maybe you have a character who has spent their entire life believing that people from the other side are dangerous and now they have to reconcile that belief with the person standing in front of them. Or maybe you have a character who values duty above everything else until caring about this person forces them to question what loyalty even really means. Right? So just some examples, and this is one of the reasons enemies to lovers can help you create such satisfying character arcs. The love interest often begins as someone who challenges the character's existing worldview, and so getting closer to them can expose beliefs, fears, and patterns that might otherwise go unchallenged. And when both characters are changed by knowing each other, the romance carries a lot more emotional weight. So they don't just go from enemies to lovers, but the relationship becomes part of why they're no longer the same people they were at the beginning. And without that connection, the romance can just kind of start to feel separate from their character arcs, kind of like they could have just fallen for anyone rather than this particular person. And when that happens, you lose a little bit of the magic, right? So that is tip number five. Let the relationship shape both characters' arcs. Now, tip number six is to connect the romantic relationship to what your story is really about. So if you're writing a romance, then the relationship will naturally help the character and the reader discover something about love. Maybe your story explores the idea that love requires trust, that intimacy requires vulnerability, or that truly loving someone means seeing who they really are instead of who you assumed they were, right? So if you're writing romance, the romantic relationship will naturally help the character and the reader discover something about love, and it will help you express your theme, which again, if you're writing romance, is probably about love. Now, if your enemies to lovers romance is a subplot inside of another genre, then the relationship can and should reinforce the larger theme of your story too. So let's say that you're writing a fantasy novel about survival. The main story or your main plot line might explore what survival costs or what's worth sacrificing in order to stay alive. And then the romance might ask what happens when survival requires trusting someone that your protagonist once saw as an enemy, or how loving that person changes what they believe is worth sacrificing for or protecting. All right, so if your enemies to lovers relationship is more of a subplot, then remember that the relationship can and should reinforce the larger theme of the story as well. And again, this is one of those things that will just make your story feel extra cohesive and give you a lot more to work with in the plot. Okay, so if you're writing a true traditional romance, then I want you to ask yourself, what does moving from enemies to lovers force your characters to learn about love or intimacy or relationships? If your enemies to lovers relationship is more of a subplot, then I want you to think about what does moving from enemies to lovers force your characters to learn about something like trust, loyalty, power, survival, belonging, or whatever the idea is at the heart of your story. And if you're not quite sure what that is, I'm going to link to an episode about how to uncover the theme of your story in the show notes. And that is where I would go next. All right, so that will be in the show notes if you're not quite sure what the theme of your story is quite yet. All right, and that is tip number six to connect the romance to what your story is really about.

Build Chemistry Readers Can Feel

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Now, tip number seven is to build chemistry and let readers see the romantic possibility. And if you're a fan of the Enemies to Lovers trope, then you already know that one of the great things about this trope is that the reader can often see where the relationship might be headed before the characters are even willing to accept what that attraction or connection could mean. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the characters are oblivious. One or both might know perfectly well that there is physical attraction, curiosity, or some kind of fascination there, but the gap is often between what the reader can see that this relationship could become and what the characters are currently willing to believe is possible. So for example, maybe your characters are perfectly matched conversationally and they just can't stop verbally sparring. Or maybe they challenge each other intellectually and one grudgingly admires how competent the other is, or their strengths complement each other in ways that neither expected. They might even understand something about each other that no one else seems to see, or simply pay far more attention to each other than two supposed enemies really need to. Whatever that setup looks like in your story, this is what's gonna create one of the most enjoyable kinds of tension in this trope. The tension that kind of feels like I have very good reasons not to like you, so why do I care so much about what you think? Right? The reader can see something forming while the characters are still resisting it or rationalizing it, which just helps to create anticipation for what happens next. And this is why chemistry matters here. Two characters can have believable reasons to revise their opinions of each other and still feel more like future friends than future lovers. Chemistry is going to help the reader see the romantic possibility and start rooting for it from the very beginning. If you want to take a deeper dive into creating romantic chemistry and tension, I'm going to link to a podcast episode in the show notes for you that is called How to Craft Romantic Chemistry and Tension. Alright, so that is tip number seven. You want to build chemistry and let readers see the romantic possibility. Now, tip number eight is a big one, and this is to give your characters reasons to change their mind about each other. And this is what I call earning the turn. So earning the turn from enemies to lovers. Now, we just talked about chemistry, and chemistry can make readers want these two characters together. But if you want the romance to feel believable, then the events of the story need to give the characters real reasons to change how they see each other. For example, maybe one of your characters starts out believing the other is selfish, dangerous, dishonest, or just fundamentally untrustworthy. Whatever that initial judgment is, your job is to challenge it with evidence that complicates it or contradicts it. For example, maybe your characters discover they have a shared value. Maybe one of them witnesses an unexpected moment of vulnerability from the other. Or maybe one of your characters sees the other person act selflessly, or maybe they even have to rely on the other person when something important is at stake. Now, something to keep in mind is that respect might grow before affection does, and trust might develop in one area while suspicion remains in another. So it's not like a switch has to flip overnight, and in fact, the key here is progression. You don't want one little conversation to suddenly erase everything that made these characters enemies. Little by little, you want to turn, I know exactly who you are, into maybe I don't know you as well as I thought. And then maybe I was wrong about you. And eventually I can't keep pretending you're my enemy. Now that progression doesn't have to happen at the same speed for both characters either, although it certainly can. One might start trusting the other first, one might recognize the attraction first, or one might become willing to take an emotional risk while the other is still resisting. You can use that imbalance in each character's progression from enemies to lovers as a way to create even more tension in your story if you want to. But no matter how unevenly that progression happens, readers need enough evidence to believe both sides of the transition. Otherwise, one character's feelings may feel fully developed while the other seems to fall in love somewhere off the page. And that is why earning the turn matters. By the time these characters choose each other, readers should be able to look back at what happened between them and understand why, when, and how their relationship changed. All right, so that is tip number eight. Earn the turn and give your characters reasons to change their mind about

Test Trust And Evolve Tension

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each other. Now, tip number nine is to put pressure on what once kept your characters apart. And what I mean by this is that once your characters have built real trust or crossed into some kind of romantic relationship, one especially effective way to test whether that change is real is to put pressure on the very thing that once kept them apart. So for example, maybe they came from opposing sides and those loyalties suddenly matter again. Maybe one character appears to betray the other and an old secret comes to light, or a new choice makes the other person wonder if they ever really knew the other character at all. Now, to be clear, you do not have to use this exact move in every enemies to lover story, and you don't necessarily need a dramatic betrayal or breakup if you don't want one. But this kind of test can be satisfying for readers because it gives the characters a chance to prove that the relationship and the two people inside of it have genuinely changed. And if you think about it, at the beginning of a story, mistrusting the other person might have felt really obvious or even really necessary. But now that the characters know a little bit more about each other, they're closer, they've built something together, they have a lot more to lose. And so when that old conflict resurfaces, they have a choice which can be really interesting for readers. The characters can fall back into the assumptions that once kept them apart, or they can respond differently because of everything they've experienced together. And again, this is what makes this kind of test so satisfying. It gives the characters a chance to prove that the relationship and the people inside of it have genuinely changed. Alright, so that is tip number nine. Put pressure on what once kept your characters apart. And lastly, we have tip number 10, which is to give the relationship new sources of tension. So once your characters stop being enemies, it can be really tempting to let the tension between them disappear as well. But if the relationship suddenly becomes really easy, then the story can lose some of that energy that made the romance compelling in the first place. So the goal here is not to keep your characters fighting like enemies, it's just to let the source of friction or tension change as the relationship changes. So, for example, let's say that you have two characters who were on opposite sides of a war. Right? Maybe now they're finally on the same side, but one of them has trouble sharing things with the other character. So it's kind of like they went from, okay, we're we were on opposite sides, now we're finally on the same side, but why are you still keeping things from me? Right? It's a different kind of friction or tension. You could also have two fiercely independent characters who now have to figure out how to rely on each other, right? So maybe they're no longer enemies, but they've always been fiercely independent and now they have to rely on each other. So just a few examples to get your creative juices flowing. You can also think outside the relationship for new sources of tension as well. So maybe you had two characters who were once working against each other, now they're fighting together, working toward the same goal, but the stakes are higher too. Maybe there's divided loyalties, there's secrets, or increasing danger that can expose new differences between them or something like that. All right, so either way, the friction, the tension needs to evolve because getting these two characters together gives them new things to care about, right? And therefore new things to disagree about, new things to fear losing, or new things to struggle to navigate. Because just like in real life, intimacy can create problems that didn't exist when they were apart or when they were enemies. All right, so once the relationship changes, let the conflict and the tension change between them two. And that is tip number 10. Give the relationship new sources of tension.

Stretch The Arc Across A Series

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Now, really quickly, I wanted to talk about how to write enemies to lovers across a series because I know this question will come up. And if you're writing enemies to lovers across multiple books, just remember that each book still needs to move the relationship somewhere new. So with each new book, I want you to ask yourself what meaningfully changes between these two characters in each book or in each installment. So, for example, maybe book one moves them from enemies to reluctant allies, while the next book deepens their respect and attraction for each other, right? That's just one possible progression. But the important thing to keep in mind is that readers can look back and see how everything that happened between these two characters brought them closer to the relationship they have now. And once you do change that relationship in a meaningful way, make sure that you don't undo that progress just to recreate the tension that worked before. We just talked about this in tip number 10, right? So if your two characters have genuinely learned to trust each other, don't erase that development in the next book just so that you can recreate tension that worked before. Aim to do something different or raise the stakes on that original tension. All right, so just a few things to keep in mind if you're writing Enemies to Lovers across a series. And if you need help getting started with your book series, I'm going to link to an episode in the show notes that's called Five Steps to Start Planning Your Book Series. So go look for that in the show notes if you are writing a series. All right, now, real quick, I want to recap all 10 of the tips because we went through a lot in this episode. So tip number one is to know the role that the enemies to lovers relationship plays in your story. Is the romance the main plot or is it a subplot? Right, you just want to know the role it plays in your overarching story. Tip number two is to give your characters a believable reason to be in conflict. So we want to give them a believable reason to be in conflict even once the attraction enters the picture. Tip number three is to give the plot a reason to keep them together. So think forced proximity, but remember we want these two characters to be in meaningful contact with each other. So give the plot a reason to keep them together. And then tip number four, make the relationship affect the central conflict. So if you're writing a true romance, the relationship will be your central conflict. If you're writing a story with romantic subplot, then make that subplot affect and impact the central conflict. Tip number five is to let the relationship shape their character arcs. Tip number six is to connect the romance to what your story is really about or that deeper theme. Tip number seven is to let readers see the romantic possibility between your characters. Tip number eight is to earn the turn. So give your characters reasons to change their mind about each other. And remember the key here is progression. It shouldn't just happen overnight. There needs to be little things that build up to earn that turn. Tip number nine is to make your characters face the original conflict or a flavor of the original conflict again if you want to test whether the change between them is real or the relationship between them is real. And then lastly, tip number 10 is give the relationship new sources of friction and tension. So once they stop being enemies, you're going to need to brainstorm new sources of tension and friction. And the one thing to keep in mind as you're writing an enemies to lovers relationship is that the best enemies to lovers romances don't make readers sit there and think, wait, when did these two characters fall in love again? They don't make us think that, right? They make us look back at everything that happened between two characters and think, of course they fell in love. I've been rooting for them since the very beginning, right? So just keep that in mind as you are writing your enemies to lovers relationship.

Resources, Next Week, And Closing

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Now, if you want my help developing a story that works, whether it includes an enemies to lovers romance or not, come check out my notes to novel course. Because in this course, I'll walk you through the process for developing your story's foundation, crafting characters that readers will love, choosing your point of view, fleshing out your setting, developing your central conflict, and structuring your story so that you can move forward and write and finish a story that you're excited about and a story that you're proud of. If you want to learn more about notes to novel and come join me in the program, I will put the link to learn more and enroll in the show notes. Now, coming up next week, we are taking a deep dive into the inciting incident or the moment that kicks off your story. So we're gonna look at five things your inciting incident needs to do to be impactful. And we're also gonna take a look at how inciting incidents show up differently across genres. So that's gonna be a really fun episode, and I can't wait to share that with you. All right, now that's all I have for today. As always, thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for all of your support. I hope your writing is going well, and I will talk to you next week.